Day 18

Stuck with my go-to video right now, Energy.  I've done that one like 10 times now, and each time I learn how to do something a little better than I could do before.  Today the improvement was in that one move where you're in a lunge (actually I'm on one knee) and you do the twist open with your arm up?  My favorite part of the video is the part where you bend forward, bent legs, and just hang.  My back always cracks when I do that and it feels amazing.

I'm still not at the point yet where I'm looking forward to doing my yoga or anything.  I'd still rather not do it and sit around eating cake.  However, I must say this is the longest I've gone doing consecutive workouts in...years.  They're not aversive at all - they're actually in the neutral zone for me right now.  I think when I'm in better physical condition I'll really look forward to them.

Thanks, DDP, for making your workouts short and powerful.  Of course I can always fit in a 25 minute workout.  I always hated that yoga at the gym (any gym) is like 90 minutes long.  Who can tolerate that except someone who's been doing it for years?  DDP Yoga is beginner friendly but there's so much room to grow in each video.  It's really an excellent program.  Also I love DDP as the host.  He's such a regular guy.

Hence, YRG.

I ate carbs yesterday (properly combined...no proteins involved) and today my weight was up a pound.  OMG this is not what a carb-o-phobe wants to see!  I'm probably off starches again now.  I can't afford to eat them.

No, really, I literally can't AFFORD to eat them.  I am so certain I'll be losing weight using DDP yoga and eating healthy life-giving food that I've signed up to participate in a Diet Bet. That's where you put up $25, along with others interested in losing weight.  At the end of 1 month, whoever has lost 4% of their body weight (for me, 8 pounds right now) splits the pot.  If you lose the weight the worst case scenario is you get your money back.  Best case you win some money.  Of course if you don't lose the weight you're out $25.

I don't wanna lose money!

So starchy carbs are probably nixed for a little while.  Maybe I'll try them again next month.


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90 Workouts in 90 Days

7/23/13 - Day 1: Energy
7/24/13 - Day 2: Energy
7/25/13 - Day 3: Energy
7/26/13 - Day 4: Fat Burner
7/27/13 - Day 5: Diamond Dozen
7/28/13 - Day 6: Energy
7/29/13 - Day 7: RHC
7/30/13 - Day 9: Energy
7/31/13 - Day 10: Energy

Day 17

Feeling a lot better.  Just a bit of a lingering cough...but my energy is back!  To celebrate, I did Energy today. 

Thought for the day...What if low-carb diets work ONLY because by eliminating carbohydrates you're essentially doing the food-combining without even realizing it?  My last 18 months of low-carb living (without much weight loss to show for it, I might add) have got me a-scared of carbs.  I did decide to experiment a little though with carbs last week, and had some gluten-free pasta one day.  I did not explode, nor did I gain 5 pounds the next day.  I felt fine and the scale stayed put.

Hm...What if food combining was The Answer?

I find food combining to be the hardest part of the DDP eating plan.  If I incorporate any carbs I screw it up, because I know you're supposed to wait a few hours before switching from carb to protein or vice versa.  I'm not sure if I read that in DDP's program guide or if I just knew that from years ago reading Fit for Life by Harvey and Marilyn Diamond.  Another place I heard the same thing was in Suzanne Somers' diet books back in the late 90s.  In both cases the same things were advocated...giving up sugar and flour, and separating when you eat fruit, carbs, and proteins.  I remember I actually lost weight doing Susanne's program.   Then I gained it back because I wasn't ready to make that change permanent.

Anyway, I think it's not that big a deal giving up gluten.  It's a little harder giving up dairy, but not so hard if you can eat goat cheese (Trader Joes has goat cheese singles and also Pecorino - a sheep-cheese that looks a lot like parmesan).  But food combining takes discipline!  Or maybe just practice.

And so I'll practice.

Blood sugar update - my fasting blood sugar has been in the neighborhood of 120 for the last few days.  Still way too high, but now slightly UNDER the diabetic criteria.  Walking a fine line...

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90 Workouts in 90 Days

7/23/13 - Day 1: Energy
7/24/13 - Day 2: Energy
7/25/13 - Day 3: Energy
7/26/13 - Day 4: Fat Burner
7/27/13 - Day 5: Diamond Dozen
7/28/13 - Day 6: Energy
7/29/13 - Day 7: RHC
7/30/13 - Day 9: Energy

Week 2 Review

I feel like crap.  Last thing I wanted to do today was yoga, but I did a session of Red Hot Core (RHC) anyway.  I saw that it was short - and it was - but it was my no means an easy one.  At least it's done.  I can't wait till this piece of crap cold leaves my body.

Week 2 Review:  Current weight is 199.6 - that's down 3.4 pounds in the last week.  Compared to a loss of 0 during Week 1, I'm happy with that.

Week 2 Atta-girls:

• Yoga 6 days out of 7
• Stuck with my food combining all week
• Ate gluten free and dairy free all week

Week 2 Keep-Working-On-Its:

• Drank alcohol on 2 nights
• Stopped eating so many veggies by Friday last week because they were making my stomach feel crappy.  Might be a gut flora problem.  Or a bad head of lettuce.  Who knows.
• Ate a popsicle yesterday.  9 grams of sugar.  That was my only sugar all week, and it felt really good on my sore throat.  But still.  No sugar is no sugar.

So far I'm not counting calories at all.  I'm just eating when I'm hungry and I eat till I'm satisfied.  If I can continue losing doing this I'll keep it up because I really dislike calorie counting.  We'll see how next week looks.


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90 Workouts in 90 Days

7/23/13 - Day 1: Energy
7/24/13 - Day 2: Energy
7/25/13 - Day 3: Energy
7/26/13 - Day 4: Fat Burner
7/27/13 - Day 5: Diamond Dozen
7/28/13 - Day 6: Energy
7/29/13 - Day 7: RHC

Day 15

I was feeling sickly and low energy all day today but I did my yoga anyway...and believe it or not I felt a lot better afterward.  My energy was up, my head was more clear, and I felt like myself again. 

Not much else to say today.  More tomorrow.

________________________

90 Workouts in 90 Days

7/23/13 - Day 1: Energy
7/24/13 - Day 2: Energy
7/25/13 - Day 3: Energy
7/26/13 - Day 4: Fat Burner
7/27/13 - Day 5: Diamond Dozen
7/28/13 - Day 6: Energy

Day 14 - Getting Sick

I'm getting a cold.  It's not going to stop me or anything, but I don't feel as high energy today as I have been for the last week or so.  Looking forward to it passing.

Today's yoga was Diamond Dozen.  I did additional positions/reps during all the talking to make it a decent workout. 

Cheers.
________________________

90 Workouts in 90 Days

7/23/13 - Day 1: Energy
7/24/13 - Day 2: Energy
7/25/13 - Day 3: Energy
7/26/13 - Day 4: Fat Burner
7/27/13 - Day 5: Diamond Dozen

Day 13 - Going Strong

Ahhhh...just finished Fat Burner.  It was a step up in difficulty from Energy, but still manageable with modifications.  I just felt proud of myself for getting it done and I wanted to write about it!  I can already sense some improvements in flexibility.  My heels are closer to touching the floor in down dog and my finger tips can almost touch in standing forward bend.  Definitely feeling looser and less stiff in general.

I did drink a couple glasses of wine last night.  Does that mean I don't want it enough?  The rest of my eating has been pretty darn exemplary, including the food combining, the organics, and the gluten/dairy free.  It's in my nature to push the boundaries and see what I can get away with, I guess.  As I've said before - I'll do the best I can do, and if it isn't working I'll change what I'm doing.

I'll check in later!

________________________

90 Workouts in 90 Days

7/23/13 - Day 1: Energy
7/24/13 - Day 2: Energy
7/25/13 - Day 3: Energy
7/26/13 - Day 4: Fat Burner

90 yoga workouts in 90 days

Fasting blood sugar this morning was 125.  Still in the Type II diabetes range.  Not happy about that.  I'll keep testing to see if this is just how it is now...or if this is some fluke related to eating a tablespoon of popsicle sweetened with Truvia (Erythritol) 2 days ago (seems unlikely).  In any case, it's not good.  If DDP yoga can make a difference for me with my health, mine will be the loudest testimonial out there.

Yesterday, yoga started feeling good.  It's still hard and I'm still happy when it's over, but it actually started feeling GOOD.  Like, I think it takes some time to learn how to do the positioning correctly before it feels good.  Yesterday was my 6th DDP yoga workout. Today's felt good too.  Wouldn't it be cool if I became one of those people who LOVED yoga?

I've decided to do 90 yoga workouts in 90 days.  Today was day 3.  Every day this week so far I've done the Energy workout.

I don't feel particularly articulate today so I'm going to sign off.

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90 Workouts in 90 Days

7/23/13 - Day 1: Energy
7/24/13 - Day 2: Energy
7/25/13 - Day 3: Energy

Good News and Bad

The good news - I'm down a few pounds today.  Love when that happens.  Official weekly weigh in is next Monday so I'll have more to say then.

Bad news...fasting blood sugar today was 132.  One thirty f-ing two!!!  That's about 7 points over the criteria for diabetes.  It had to be wrong...I took it again.  130.  Geez.  Told my husband...he said, "Well, that can't be right.  Those test strips must have gone bad.  Test me."  So I tested him.  The result was typical for him.  Fuck.

If it had been tested in a doctor's office I would probably be officially diagnosed a Type II diabetic today.  I'd be prescribed Metformin and I'd be told to stop eating sugar. Maybe I'd qualify for discounted test strips. 

I am not going to do the 3x a week slow-boat-to-yoga-fitness outlined in DDPs program guide.  I don't have time for that.  My body is about to explode.  We're looking at an every day thing.  Maybe I'll do like the 12-steppers and do 90 workouts in 90 days.  I'll phone a friend when I'm considering not DTFP. 

I'm really concerned about my health.  This program couldn't have shown up at a better time.

I spent an hour or two cooking and chopping veggies to make salad-making more efficient.  Bottom line - I'm kind of lazy.  If it's not easy I'll avoid it.  Got to make eating healthy easy.

I was tuned in to the DDP Yoga chat last night, observing and lurking as others discussed diets.  Some folks doing the DDP program are on vegetarian or high-starch eating plans, and they rave about them, crediting them with massive weight losses.  I've never eaten a lot of carbs without eating wheat...so it's possible it could be a healthful diet.  I'm basically doing things low-carb, moderately-high animal protein.

I'm discouraged by my blood sugar.  However, it just motivates me to work harder.

Feeling Great

I do...I feel great today.  It may be because the weather is awesome...actually my life is feeling kind of awesome right now.

Did the Energy workout today.  Felt good and stretched out by the end of it.

My eating has been a lot better.  I started using the food journal provided in the Program Guide to track what I eat.  Here's what I ate yesterday:

Breakfast:  3 eggs with onions, tomatoes, cooked in coconut oil
Snack: 1/4 cup mixed nuts (not raw, unfortunately, but I'll do the shopping next time)
Lunch: Salad with veggies, baked chicken, and oil/vinegar dressing
Snack: Chicken, half of a grass-fed beef hot dog (no bun)
Dinner: Carrots, and another salad just like the one I had at lunch.

I think everything but the nuts was organic.  I'm not counting calories, fat grams, carbs, or anything.  It's possible I'm eating too many calories - Usually if I stick to a "low-calorie" diet I'm starving, and I just refuse to be hungry.  If I'm unable to lose weight I'll make adjustments.

One of my biggest problems with this lifestyle change is giving up alcohol.  I'm not a hard-core boozer but I do drink wine and love it.  It used to be several times a week my husband and I would go through a bottle...or two, sometimes, on the weekend.  I've put the brakes on that now.  I like it because it makes my anxiety go away.  For a little while I feel calm and happy and giggly.  I don't ever feel like that otherwise.  Anyway, it's more important that I get my metabolic health in order and drinking makes me want to eat more, plus it interferes with my sleep, which causes increased appetite the next day. All good reasons to stop it for a while.

Rude Awakening

Got on the scale this morning - first weigh in after completing Week 1.  Same weight.  No change.  Probably because I didn't DTFP.

I did do yoga 4 times last week though, so I think that's a good start.  I struggle with the eating in part because I feel like I should socialize - eat, drink, be merry - with others.  I guess my sparkling personality will have to suffice.  No way am I going though all this and staying fat.

I keep finding ways to bring others into my circle of DDPY support and accountability, so other eyes are on me.  I'm much more likely to stick with something if other people will be watching me.  I mean, how many diets and exercise programs have been quietly abandoned because no one was watching anyway?  Yeah, I care what people think of me (often my downfall) but in this case it can be helpful.

Anyway, to summarize week one:   Did yoga workouts 4 times, didn't follow the eating plan.  Did increase vegetable intake.  Let's make week 2 a better one.  

DTFP

I've coined a new mantra that I find myself saying over and over.  I have a tendency to improvise rather than following instructions.  I'm not sure why - I mean, why spend even a minute thinking about something if someone's already done the thinking for me and I've paid that person to tell me what to do? I suppose I'm kind of lazy that way, and maybe that's why I'm fat.  For example, this week I noticed I was arbitrarily choosing which parts of the DDP program I wanted to follow (the yoga, buying organic, eating more veggies) and ignoring the parts I didn't want to do at times (the food combining, the juicing, the abstaining from sugar and alcohol). This is how I do things...which is why things (me) don't look the way I want them to look.

Well, no more.

Now I'm going to just DTFP (Do The Fucking Program).  It's sort of my own twist on RTFM (Read the Fucking Manual).

So next time I want that glass of wine at night?  DTFP.

Next time I'm thinking I should eat a popsicle with my daughter?  DTFP.

Next time I think eating gluten-free pizza is a great idea?  DTFP.

ANYWAY...

Just finished my third DDP Yoga session.  I feel really good.

I decided to DTFP and follow the instructions provided by DDP in the actual program guide.  For the first 5 weeks he recommends beginners do 3 workouts a week and tells you which workouts to do.  I started off on Day 1 with the Diamond Dozen, and did Energy! on Tuesday and today.  Next 4 workouts will all be the Energy! video, according to this guide.  Well I guess that's one way to get good at it.  He's got a year-long workout schedule in this book.  I'm glad I don't have to make decisions.  I can just DTFP.

Changes I have made for the better during week 1:

• More veggies at every meal.   I now mix veggies in with my eggs for breakfast and have a salad before (or as) lunch and dinner.  
• Everything is organic (if possible).  This is a hard one for me, cuz I'm such a tightwad.  The blueberries that aren't organic LOOK the same as the ones that are...and they cost half as much!  Oh well.  Just DTFP.
•  I was already gluten free and dairy free (well, mostly)...but now I really am.  (edited to add...this is a total lie.  I had cheese yesterday.  I am so in denial!)

I keep trying to do a video blog post.  I'll get up the nerve to post one of them at some point.

Ciao!

Baselines

Holy FUCK.  I just took my blood pressure to get a baseline for later comparison.  It was 141/100.  How the hell did that happen?  I knew it was high and the 141 part is borderline, but the 100 is kind of crazy high.  I'm not in good shape.  I have a 3 year old.  I have to improve these numbers.  I think my body just can't handle my current weight.  This is the most I've ever weighed without being pregnant, and I think my body is yelling at me. 

Fasting blood sugar is also out of control - 117.  Last time I checked it was a couple of weeks ago and it was 116 then too...so this isn't an anomaly.  Awesome!  Well, the worse things look now the better they'll look later. 

Also took my measurements.  It's embarrassing. 

Chest: 40"
Waist: 45"
Hips: 44" 
Thigh: 26" (I'd actually like this number to go up as I get more muscular).

So I'll update my pictures page with the current stats. 

This is all pretty humbling.

Had an old DVD player stuck in the closet and hooked it up yesterday (ok, my husband did).  Also cleared a space in the living room so I have room to do yoga.  Hoping the DVDs get here today.  I want to do something - even if it's just the easy "Wake up" video - every day.  I need to get better or my daughter is going to be without a mom while she's still a kid.

Day 3

Did the Energy video today - it's available on the website.  Hopefully the videos will arrive tomorrow.  So exciting.  No doubt though, the workout is challenging - I had to modify all the harder moves like pushups and lunges.  I'll get stronger though.

Another change for me has been giving up my nightly glass-or-two of wine.  I'll miss that but I'm sure I'll get used to it.  Also I've stopped combining carbs and proteins.  I find it a lot easier to just ditch carbs altogether, but I know that's not the answer long term.  I've tried that and didn't feel great.  I'm also trying to limit what I eat after about 7PM.  Yesterday I tried to go to bed at 10 but was hungry and had to get up and eat something.  My body will adjust over time.

I'd like to get into a routine where I'm getting up earlier - like 6AM.  Today I did my yoga with my 3 year old having a tantrum over my shoulder.  A little distracting, but I didn't let it stop me!

Tomorrow morning I'm going to get measurements, blood sugar, and blood pressure baselines.

Videos On the Way

Got notification that my videos have been shipped today Priority Mail - I'll probably have them by Wednesday!  In the meantime I'm just going to work on some of the stretches.

Day 1 Pictures - Done!

I did manage to get Day 1 pictures taken, including the 6 positions DDP recommends photographing in order to compare for results.  I gotta say, I was sweating by the end of taking those pictures.  I guess that means it's a) a good workout, and b) I'm out of shape.  I was actually more flexible than I thought, for things like the "catcher" position and the standing leg lift.  When I was in high school (like 25 years ago) I did gymnastics, and I was really flexible at that time.  I used to be able to touch my face to my knees in a sitting position.  I guess that experience has left me with some flexibility...but still a LOT of room for improvement.

I also decided to just get over putting my pics on the blog.  Even without favorable "after" shots.  I mean, really.  Who cares.  We've all seen fat people.  So what if I look like I'm expecting my 2nd child.  True story:  The last yoga class I attended was in April 2013.  The instructor met with me before class and asked if I had any health issues, injuries - anything that would restrict my movement.  I told her "No, I'm ready to go."  10 minutes later the class was underway. I was in the middle of the room, with about 10 other people around me.  The instructor decided to ask me at that moment, in front of everyone, "Lanie, are you expecting"?  I was shocked and didn't answer right away.  She repeated her question, a little louder this time because obviously I hadn't heard.  I looked her dead in the eye, shook my head slowly, and said, "No."  I felt so humiliated.  I know she asked because she was afraid of leading me to do poses that might risk a pregnancy...but geez.  Doesn't everyone know at this point that it's really rude to ask someone if they're pregnant?  Especially in front of a quiet room full of people?

DDP, I need help getting my belly back to normal.  Thank you.

Day 1

I'm really dreading taking my "before" photos!  I'm not sure if I'm going to post them right away or if I'm going to wait till I have some results for comparison.  It takes a lot of guts (literally) to put your fat pictures on the interwebs!  I ask myself...what's the worst that could happen?  Someone could make a poster of my "before" pic and parade up and down the block in front of my child's school or in front of my home, and cause great embarassment to my family.  Or someone could call me a bad name.  Or tell me that I'm not THAT fat and I should appreciate what I have and stop complaining so much that I'm unhappy.  Probably none of those things will happen.  And I can survive any of those things.

I don't have the videos yet, but DDP has put his Diamond Dozen video and the program's guidebook on the web so I don't have to wait to actually get the videos. I was pretty impressed by the eating plans he recommends.  I definitely have room to clean up my diet, but I'm mostly gluten-free and dairy-free already.  I think the food-combining thing is interesting.  I've done it in the past and felt really good at the time.  I definitely need to get more micronutrients in my diet (veggies, greens) - a lot more, actually, so that'll be a change.  He recommends the things I've found to be best for me - whole foods, organics, lots of vegetables, both carbs and proteins (just not together), and fruit early in the day.

Ok, enough talking.  Time to get on the mat.

Update: 35 minutes later:  Finished the Diamond Dozen.  More of a tutorial than a workout, but I still got a good stretch and feel like I've gotten the lay of the land.  I've done yoga in the past - not much, but a class here and there...I've always known I should do more, but it never felt good.  It was always too hard or too boring.  I'm now seeing that it was too hard because I wasn't being taught modifications.  DDP showed modifications for the harder moves, and I could see how this is going to feel really good at some point.  Today it was fun, but I was very much in touch with my current lack of flexibility and upper body strength.

Getting Started

I just ordered the DDP Yoga DVDs Pack 1 - it looked like the beginner set. It cost $70 plus $10 shipping....pretty reasonable for 6 workout videos, but I'm such a total cheapskate I tried to find them somewhere else cheaper.  Unfortunately no one on ebay, half.com, or Amazon is selling them.  Either the wave of DDP Yoga is just now growing or no one is giving up their videos!  I suspect it's a little of both.

I have never spent this much on exercise DVDs.  I'm just not that girl, buying all kinds of stuff from the web.  But geez.  Arthur's story.  I've watched this probably 15 times now and I cry every time.  I'm just so damn proud of him!  And also my heart breaks because I watch it and see me in him.  My body isn't as broken as his was, but the hopelessness in his eyes during the first few clips of that video...I have that.  I have that now.  I feel like every day is another day of hopeless crap to deal with.

And I have no good reason to feel that way.  I have a beautiful, smart little girl who thinks I'm amazing.  I have a devoted husband (despite my constant irritability and increasing weight), a nice family, and a nice home.  I am rich in this world, compared to so many who suffer with real problems.  But my brain feels sick.  My emotions are haywire.  I'm never happy.  I look forward to nothing.

I'll be posting a video (egads!) of me in my current state, complete with a beginning weigh-in and probably some stills of my woeful lack of flexibility.

I want to be happy.  I want to be fit.

I don't know if DDP Yoga is the answer, but this is the most excited I've been about anything for a long time.

Please come with me on my journey.